Self Sabotage and why we do it!

How We Get in Our Own Way (And What to Do About It)

Unpacking self-sabotage, one quiet habit at a time.

Have you ever felt like you’re finally making progress… only to somehow derail yourself?

You miss a deadline. You procrastinate. You hesitate to speak up. Or you tell yourself, “I’m not quite ready yet.” It’s subtle, but it’s powerful: self-sabotage.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the quiet ways we can hold ourselves back professionally—especially when we’re close to growth or new visibility. It might show up as perfectionism (“If it’s not flawless, I won’t share it”), people-pleasing (“I’ll just take this on myself—again”), or avoidance disguised as productivity.

Sometimes it’s even sneakier. I once delayed sending a proposal to a new client. I told myself I was waiting for the right words, but if I’m honest, I was worried the work might stretch me more than I was ready for. When I finally sent it, I made a few small but noticeable errors—nothing huge, but enough to chip away at their trust. From the outside, it looked like a simple miscommunication. But I knew better. That was self-sabotage.

These patterns are often protective—formed at times when they served us. But in our current roles, they can keep us small. The tricky thing is, we often look like we’re doing just fine. But inside? There’s a lot of second-guessing and noise.

What’s helped me—and many I work with—is simply noticing it. Naming the pattern. Then choosing differently.

If any of this resonates, here are a few resources that offer real, practical insight:

What I’m learning

Self-sabotage doesn’t mean we’re broken. It usually means we’re scared—of being seen, of failing, or of what success might ask of us.

But every time we catch ourselves in the act, we create space for something different: A new pattern. A clearer choice. A gentler voice.

So here’s to spotting the habits that don’t serve us anymore. To giving ourselves permission to show up, imperfectly. And to learning that discomfort doesn’t mean stop—it often means you’re on to something.

You’re not alone in this.

Share this with someone who’s overthinking something big right now. You never know who might need a gentle nudge today.

 ps. When you’re ready…..I help leaders and organizations through in-person team training, coaching, and 1:1 virtual coaching. Reach out for a complimentary intro call.